First Love

True Love

Bear, or more accurately, Freezer (his TY Pluffie given name), was a gift from Lily's Great Grandma Durel. She found him at Walgreens and thought he was the perfect size for a one-year-old. He started out white but is now a variable shade of gray, depending on how recently he's had a swim in the washing machine.

As is the case with so many kids' stuffed animals, Lily's menagerie had accumulated over her short time on earth, so when she got one more stuffed bear as a gift, it was just added to the pile of many others. Lily wasn't overly interested in many of her stuffed animals, but one day she set her sights on Bear and she has hardly looked back.

Now, that's love. When Lily is upset or tired, she rubs Bear's tail. Even now, at almost 6 years old, she does it. Sometimes she says, "feel Bear's tail- it's really soft!" But Only if she trusts you enough to hold him. Not everyone is so lucky. :-)

Lily adopted Bear as her special friend when she was about 17 months old. For months, she carried Bear in the crook of her little arm, slept with him as her pillow, and brought him along on car and stroller rides. So, on the morning that I saw her discover another bear among the dozens of stuffed friends waiting their turns on her toddler bed, I had to wonder how Bear felt, splat on the floor by the Little Tikes table, looked over by his own best friend. She marched right by Bear with her new suitor tucked under her arm. He was bigger, he was brown, his name was Alvin (I had named him after my grandpa).

...and this set my mind spinning the old story about how toys come to life when the door closes behind us. I imagined what others would say to Bear- not unlike the movie Toy Story. "Oh yeah, look at how she just sailed past you, buddy bear. Your days are numbered!"

LeMutt, my own first love, sits high on the top shelf watching everything unfold, like a grandpa who's seen it all before. His fur is matted and dingy, his yellow plastic eyes are scratched from going through the washing machine. A trip in the spin cycle could never return Lemutt to his virgin color and fluffiness. But boy, has he been loved. I've had LeMutt since I was about 6 years old. He was a gift from Lily's Great Grandma, too. And while I know that he's just a pile of dusty fur and stuffing, to me he will always have a heart, a personality, a spirit. He's a relic of my childhood. Even if he is no longer carried everywhere with me, he still bears witness to my life, and now Lily's- and that is never lost.

LeMutt and Me

As it turns out, Bear's replacement was only a fling. It wasn't 10 minutes before Lily rescued him from the floor and gave him a hug. Some things are always true. Who knows if Bear will one day roost on the top shelf of my grandchild's room. It's too soon to tell, and Lily is still apt to have many more loves in her young life. But I will do my part to preserve Bear's posterity, and when she tires of him and moves on to someone or something else, I'll pick him up off the floor and set him beside Lemutt, and they can sit and watch the story unfold- together.